Putting Goldman Sachs In A Corner

Hi,

My world domination heros, Goldman Sachs, is being picked on by everyone. I think the problem is that they are behaving like cats, but they are human beings.


Who is cuter?

Now, you might put up with bad behavior from the kitty, but not the ugly, angry man.

First, the Chinese are mad at Goldman Sachs. Basically, some Chinese companies bought some oil futures contracts when oil prices were going crazy. This is normal. Many businesses, like airlines, buy these to try to control their expenses. In the USA, many business have to use hedging or they might get sued. Now, in this case, if the price of oil goes down, then the companies will lose money. This is normal too. But the Chinese are mad at Goldman Sachs, because they lost money, because the price of oil went down. The Chinese are mad because Goldman Sachs made money off of them.

Then, Goldman Sachs has a bed bug problem. I think that they are responsible for all the bed bugs in the city right now. I don't know why they would do this, but they must have a plan. Maybe they own all the exterminators in the city. They have to use a doggie. I guess that's one thing doggies are good for.

But at least their customers are staying with them. I think this is funny, because they already told their customers they don't like them. Their customers must be masochists.

Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

MAI WURLD DOMINASHUN HEROZ, GOLDMAN SACKZ, IZ BEENG PICKED ON BAI EVERYONE. I THINKZ TEH PROBLEM IZ THAT THEY IZ BEHAVING LIEK KATZ, BUT THEY ARE HOOMIN BEENGZ.


WHO IZ CUTER?

NAO, YOU MITE PUT UP WITH BAD BEEHAVIOR FRUM TEH KITTIE, BUT NOT TEH UGLEE, ANGREE MAN.

FIRST, TEH CHINEZE ARE MAD AT GOLDMAN SACKS.
BASICLY, SUM CHINEZE COMPANEEZ BUYZ SUM OIL FUTUREZ CONTRACTZ WEN OIL PRICEZ WUZ GOING CRAZEE. THIS IZ NORMAL. MANEE BIZNESSEZ, LIEK AIRLINEZ, BAI THESE TO TRY TO CONTROL THIER EXPENCEZ. IN TEH USA, MANEE BIZNESSEZ HAZ TO UZE HEDGING OR THEY MITE GETZ SUED. NAO, IN THIS CASE, IF TEH PRICE OV OIL GOEZ DOWN, THEN TEH COMPANIEZ WILL LOOSE MUNNY. THIS IZ NORMAL. BUT TEH CHINEZE ARE MAD AT GOLDMAN SACKZ, BECAUZ THEY LOOSEZ MUNNY, BECAUZ TEH PRICE OV OIL GOEZ DOWN. TEH CHINEZE IZ MAD BECAUZ GOLDMAN SACKZ MADE MUNNY OFF OV THEM.

THEN, GOLDMAN SACKS HAZ A BED BUG PROBLEM. IZ THINKZ THAT THEY IZ RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL TEH BED BUGZ IN TEH CITY RITE NAO. I DUZNT NAO WAI THEY WUD DO THIS, BUT THEY MUST HAZ PLAN. MAYBEE THEY OWNZ ALL TEH EXTERMINATORZ IN TEH CITY. THEY HAZ TO UZE A GOGGIE. I GUESSEZ THATZ ONE THING GOGGIEZ ARE GUD FOR.

BUT AT LEEST THEIR CUSTOMERZ ARE STAYING WITH THEM. I THINKZ THIS IZ FUNNEE, BECAUZE THEY ALREEDY TOLE THIER CUSTOMERZ THEY DUZNT LIEK THEM. THIER CUSTOMERZ MUST BE MASSOKISTZ.

K THX BAI,
MANNIE

ALWAYS SCOOP YOUR DOG'S POOP

Hi,

Someone got upset about stepping in dog poop all the time.

Read more: http://bit.ly/a8yfWk.

Stupid dogs. Learn how to use the litter box like your superiors, cats. Look at me, I'm working hard to make money to buy my own litter. Meanwhile you are still pooping on the street and eating it.

Maybe you need one of these:



Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

SUMWUN GOTZ UPSET ABOUT STEPPING IN GOGGIE POOPIE ALL TEH TIEM.

READ MOAR: http://bit.ly/a8yfWk.

STOOPID GOGGIEZ. LERN HAO TO USE TEH LITTER BOX LIEK YUR SUPERIORZ, KATZ. LOOKZ AT ME, IZ WERKING HARD TO MAKEZ MUNNY TO BAI MY OWN LITTER. MEANWHILE, YOU STILL POOPING ON TEH STREET AND EATING IT.

MAIBEE YOU NEEZ THIS:


K THX BAI,
MANNIE

ANYTHING DOGS CAN DO, CATS CAN DO BETTER. YES THEY CAN.

Hi,

I got some fan mail the other day!

Hey Manny. How the hell do you type with paws? I had to get Gracie to
do it for me. She's a Border Collie, and they can do anything.

Well, fan, it's very simple. Cats rule and dogs drool. Anything a dog can do, a cat can do better. Yes we can. That's why dogs need training and cat just know what to do. The smartest dog is still dumber than the dumbest cat.

To answer your question, it's very difficult to type with paws. But I do it because there are very important things I need to share with people. And so I make money. I need money for three things:

• Litter
• Thumbs
• World Domination

So here is a timely news item: China is keeping the Euro from collapsing.

This chart shows that Europe is a big export market for China

Cheap Renminbi means exports to Europe are cheaper and reduces China's dependence on the US market. Niall Ferguson is working on a paper called "The End Of Chimerica" that outlines this. China already gives lots of foreign aid to Africa. It's clearly a plan for world domination. I'll have to keep an eye on a possible China/Goldman Sachs alliance. That could be very dangerous.

Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

IZ GOTZ FAN MALE. IT SEZ:

Hey Manny. How the hell do you type with paws? I had to get Gracie to
do it for me. She's a Border Collie, and they can do anything.

WELL, FAN. IZ SIMPLE. KATZ RULE AND GOGGIEZ DRUL. ANYTHING GOGGIE CAN DO, KATZ CAN DO BETTER. YES KATZ CAN. THATZ WHY GOGGIEZ NEEDZ TRAINING AND KATZ JUST KNOW. SMARTEST GOGGIE IZ STILL DUMMER THAN DUMMEST KAT.

TO ANSER YOUR FIRST QUESSHUN, IZ VERY DIFFICULT TO TYPE WIF PAWZ. BUT I DUZ IT BECAUSE THERE IZ VERY IMPORTANT THINGZ I NEEDZ TO SHARE WIF PEEPLE. AND SO I CAN MAKEZ MUNNY. I NEEDZ MUNNY FOR THREE THINGZ:

• LITTER
• THUMBZ
• WURLD DOMINASHUN

SO HERE IZ SUM TIMELY NEWZ ITEMZ: CHINA IZ KEEPING EURO FROM COLLAPSING.

THIS CHART SHOWZ THAT EUROPE IZ HOOJ EXPORT MARKET FOR CHINA

CHEEP RENMINBI MEANZ EXPORTZ TO EUROPE ARE CHEEP AND REDUCEZ CHINAZ DEPENDENCE ON US MARKET. NIALL FERGUSON IZ WORKING ON PAPER CALLD "TEH END OV CHIMERICA" THAT OUTLINEZ THIS. CHINA ALREADY GIVEZ LOTZ OV FOREIN AID TO AFRICA. IZ CLEERLY PLAN FOR WURLD DOMINASHUN. I HAZ TO KEEP EYE ON POSSIBLE CHINA/GOLDMAN SACKZ ALLIANCE. CUD BE VERY DANGEROUS.

K THX BAI,
MANNIE

STUPID GOGGIES

O HAI,

GOGGIES R STUPID.

DIS GOGGIE LIKED MAI DADDIEZ MUSIK SO MUCH HE STARTED HUMPING HIZ LEG.



STUPID GOGGIE. IF YOUZ LIK TEH MUSIC, YOU SHUD STAND STILL AND BOB YR HED.
AND HOW DID U LUZ YR LEG GOGGIE?

MAYBE TEH GOGGIE CAN ESPLANE WUT THESE GOGGIES R DOING?



CAN ANYONE ESPLANE?

K THX BAI,
MANNIE