RITE TO ARM BEARZ

O HAI,

YESTERDAI, I SAYD TEH SUPREME COURT OV TEH UNITED STATEZ (SCOTUS) DECIDED THAT RULEZ TO LIMIT CAMPAIN SPENDING BY CORPORASHUNS WUZ UNCONSTITUSHUNAL. READ THIS: http://nyti.ms/avLeot

THIS IZ FUNNY, BECAUSE IN 2008, SCOTUS DECIDED THAT JUDGEZ WHO GETZ CAMPAIN DONASHUNS HAZ TO RECUZE THEMSELVEZ FRUM CASEZ. YOU CAN READ TEH DECISHUN HERE: http://bit.ly/djXbY4. A SYNOPSIS IZ HERE: http://bit.ly/bIDsOR. TEH NEWZ STORY IZ HERE: http://bit.ly/aHnGlS. THIS IZ TEH COMPANY WHOZ MINE COLLAPSED A FEW WEEKZ BACK, TOO. THEY IZ NOT GUD PEEPLE.

ANYWAYZ, IZ DIGRESSEZ. SCOTUS SAYD THAT CORPORASHUNZ IZ LIKE PEEPLE. THEY GETZ CERTAIN RITEZ. AND TEH RITE OV FREE SPEECH, OR AT LEAST BUYING SPEECH, IZ ONE OV THEM.

NAO, IF I REMEMBERZ MAI CONSTITUSHUN, TEH RITE OV FREE SPEECH IZ TEH FIRST AMENDAMENT. AND TEH SECOND ADMENDAMENT IZ THE RITE TO ARM BEARZ. SO I THINKZ THAT CORPORASHUNZ SHUD START GIVING BEARS WEAPONS. BEARZ NEEDZ WEAPONZ, BECAUZ THEY IZ AFRAID OV EVERYTHING. LOOK AT THIS PIKCHUR OV MAI FRIEND CHASING A BEAR UP A TREE. STOOPID BEAR.



I GOT THE PIKCHUR HERE: http://bit.ly/9EogPi

K THX BAI,
MANNIE

MAI WURLD DOMINASHUN HEROZ

Hi,

I was watching the Goldman Sachs (GS) people squirm on the television yesterday. They were being grilled by stupid politicians who don't realize that they are in the pockets of GS. They forget that in a few years they are going to asking GS for money to campaign with.

See, a few weeks ago, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS), decided that rules to limit campaign spending by corporations was unconstituational. You can read more here: http://nyti.ms/avLeot.

So this means that GS can spend lots of money get people who are friendly to them. We already saw this happen in the recent Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) decision to file a lawsuit against GS. Some of the commissioners voted not to pursue the lawsuit. I think that some of the commissioners get financing from GS. You can learn more about the case here: http://bit.ly/aFg8JP.

And now, my friend sent me this letter that GS just sent to its clients. You can read the original here: http://nyti.ms/90wda8. But I will summerize it for you:

Hi,

We're messing with you. We don't care about you. We just want your money.

Thanks,
Goldman Sachs

If I act like GS, my mommy and daddy calls me a bad kitty. But no one is calling GS a bad company. This is the difference between being a cat and being and INVESTMENT BANKER. Is clearly the way to world domination. Maybe I should become an investment banker.

More later.

Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

I WUZ WATCHING TEH GOLDMAN SACKS (GS) PEOPLE SQUIRM ON TEH TELEVISHUN YESTERDAY. THEY WUZ BEEING GRILLED BAI STOOPID POLITICIANZ WHO DONT REALIZE THAT THEY IZ IN TEH POCKETZ OV GS. THEY FORGETZ THAT IN A FEW YEARZ THEY IZ GOING TO BE ASKING GS FOR MUNNY TO CAMPAIN WIF.

SEE, A FEW WEEKZ AGO, TEH SUPREME COURT OV TEH UNITED STATES (SCOTUS), DECIDED THAT RULEZ TO LIMIT CAMPAIN SPENDING BY CORPORASHUNS WUZ UNCONSTITUSHUNAL. YOU CAN READ MOAR HERE: http://nyti.ms/avLeot.

SO THIS MEANZ THAT GS CAN SPEND LOTZ OV MUNNY GETTING PEEPLE WHO ARE FRIENDLY TO THEM. WE ALREADY SAW THIS HAPPEN IN THE RECENT SECURITIEZ AND EXCHANGE COMMISHUN (SEC) DECISHUN TO FILE A LAWSUIT AGAINST GS. SUM OV TEH COMMISHUNERZ VOTED NOT TO PURRSUE TEH LAWSUIT. I THINKZ THAT SUM OV TEH COMMISHUNERZ GETZ FINANCING FRUM GS. YOU CAN LEARN LOTZ MOAR ABOUT TEH CASE HERE: http://bit.ly/aFg8JP.

AND NOAW, MAI FRIENDZ SENDZ ME DIS LETTER THAT GS JUST SENT TO ITZ CLIENTZ. YOU CAN READ TEH ORIGINAL HERE: http://nyti.ms/90wda8. BUT I WILL SUMMERIZ FOR YOU:

O HAI,

WE'Z MESSING WIF U. WE DUNT CARE ABOUTZ U. WE JUS WANTZ YUR MUNNY.

K THX BAI,
GOLDMAN SACKS

IF I ACTZ LIKEZ GS, MAI MOMMIE AND DADDIE CALLZ ME A BAD KITTIE. BUT NO ONEZ IZ CALLING GS A BAD COMPANY. DIS IZ TEH DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING A KAT AND BEING AN INVESTMENT BANKER. IZ CLEARLY TEH WAY TO WURLD DOMINASHUN. MAYBEE I SHUD BECOME AN INVESTMENT BANKER.

MOAR LATER.

K THX BAI,
MANNIE

GET TEH LED OUT!

UPDATE: MAI DADDIE TRIED TO ESPLANE TEH DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JOHN PAUL STEVENS AND JOHN PAUL JONES. IZ STILL CONFUZED, BUT I GUESS THEYZ R 2 DIFFERENT PEEPLE. IZ SORRY 4 TEH CONFUSHUN.


O HAI,

I RED DIS STORY 2DAI ABOUT JOHN PAUL STEVENS RETIRING FRUM TEH SUPREM COURT: http://bit.ly/bLxapX

I WUZ SAD 2 HEER DAT DIS ESSTEEMD MAN WUZ LEAVIN TEH COURT. HE HAZ MAYD MANY GUD DECISHUNS AND OPPOSED MANY BAD ONEZ. I THINKZ TEH PREZIDENT IZ GOING 2 HAF HARD TIME FINDING A REPLACEMENT.

BUT DEN, I WUZ HAPPY BECAUZ I REALIZED DAT MAYBEE HE WILL HAZ TIME 2 TOUR AGAIN! MAYBEE LED ZEPPLIN WILL GIT BAK 2GETHR!

LED ZEPPLIN MAKS TEH MUSIC BEHIND MAI FAVORIT SONG. HERE IZ A BAD VERSHUN:



IF U WANTZ BETTR VERSHUN, GO HERE: http://bit.ly/brn3WW

K THX BAI,
MANNIE