MOAR NEWS FRUM DOWN UNDER

Hi,

So, I have written about Australia (I like to call it "Down Under") in the past. There have been many stories I have read, and I wanted to share them with you.


First, not only do they hate children Down Under, they also hate birds: http://bit.ly/b1GQA7. Apparently, the stupid humans Down Under fed the bird lots of sausage, and the bird got too fat to fly. Clearly, this is a plot by the humans Down Under to kill birds. Now, I don't think this is a bad idea, because I'm a cat.


Next, there is a Japanese restaurant Down Under that makes everyone eat everything on their plates:: http://bit.ly/9jgT7O. This is a good idea. I guess that the humans Down Under don't like to finish their food, only their beer. So this Japanese chef decided that the humans have to finish their food, or pay a fine and never come back. My mommy does this to me all the time. If I don't like my food, she makes me eat it anyway, no matter how much I cry.

But the big story is that they have a new prime minister Down Under, and she is the first female prime minister: http://bit.ly/9X5nG7. The old prime minister, Kevin Rudd, had to resign because he hates children and kittens. I think they picked a woman because they thought she'd be nicer to kids. But the funny thing is, she doesn't want to have kids. I wonder if she likes kitties? But she doesn't want to tax children as much as her predecessor: http://bit.ly/b2t19E and http://bit.ly/bA48Pt. But she didn't say anything about not making them work in the mines.

While she doesn't have children and isn't married, she has a Life Partner. His name is Tim Mathieson: http://bit.ly/axsrU2. If you don't recognize the name, he is a famous actor. As a child, he was in Leave It To Beaver and was the voice of Jonny Quest. But he is probably most famous for being in Animal House (Which doesn't have any animals in it).


As a bonus, here is my favorite scene from Animal House.


Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

SOZ, I HAZ WRITTEN ABOUT AUSTRALIA (I LIEK TO CALL IT "DOWN UNDER") IN TEH PAST. THERE HAZ BEEN MANEE STORIEZ THAT I HAZ RED, AND IZ WANTED TO SHARE THEM WIF YOU.


FIRST, NOT ONLEE DUZ THEY HATEZ CHILDREN DOWN UNDER, THEY ALSO HATEZ BIRDZ: http://bit.ly/b1GQA7. APPARENTLEE, TEH STOOPID HOOMINZ DOWN UNDER FED TEH BIRD LOTZ OV SAUSAGE, AND TEH BIRD GOTZ TOO FAT TO FLY. CLEERLEE, THIS IZ PLOT BAI TEH HOOMNINZ DOWN UNDER TO KILL BIRDZ. NAO, IZ DUZNT THINKZ THIS IZ BAD IDEE, BECAUZE IZ KAT.


NEXT, THERE IZ A JAPANEZE RESTAURANT DOWN UNDER THAT MAKEZ EVERYWUN EET EVERYTHING ON THIER PLATEZ: http://bit.ly/9jgT7O. THIS IZ A GUD IDEE. I GUESSEZ THAT TEH HOOMINZ DOWN UNDER DUZNT LIEK TO FINISH THIER FUD, ONLY THIER BEER. SO THIS JAPANEZE CHEF DECIDEZ THAT TEH HOOMINZ HAZ TO FINISH THIER FUD, OR PAY A FINE AND NEBER COME BACK. MAI MOMMIE DUZ THIS TO ME ALL TEH TIEM. IF I DUZNT LIEK MAI FUD, SHE MAKEZ ME EET IT ANYWAI, NO MATTER HAO MUCH I CRIEZ.

BUT TEH BIG STOREE IZ THAT THEY HAZ NEW PRIME MINISTER DOWN UNDER, AND SHE IZ TEH FIRST FEMALE PRIME MINISTER: http://bit.ly/9X5nG7. TEH OLD PRIME MINISTER, KEVIN RUDD, HAZ TO RESINE BECAUZE HE HATEZ CHILDREN AND KITTENZ. I THINKZ THEY PICKZ A WOMAN BECAUZE THEY THINKZ SHE IZ NICER TO KIDZ. BUT TEH FUNNEE THING IZ, SHE DUZNT WANTZ TO HAZ KIDZ. I WUNDER IF SHE LIEKZ KITTIEZ? BUT SHE DUZNT WANTZ TO TAX TEH KIDZ AS MUCH AS HER PRECESSOR: http://bit.ly/b2t19E AND http://bit.ly/bA48Pt. BUT SHE DUZNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT NOT MAKING THEM WERKZ IN TEH MINEZ.

WILE SHE DUZNT HAZ KIDZ AND IZNT MARRIED, SHE HAZ A LIFE PARTNER. HIZ NAEM IZ TIM MATHIESON: http://bit.ly/axsrU2. IF YOU DUZNT RECOGNIZE TEH NAEM, HE IZ FAMOUS ACTOR. AS A HOOMIN KITTEN, HE WUZ IN LEEVE IT TO BEEVER AND WUZ THE VOICE OV JONNY QUEST. BUT HE IZ PROBABLEE MOST FAMOUZ FOR BEEING IN ANIMAL HOUSE (WICH DUZNT HAZ ANY ANIMALZ IN IT).


AZ A BONUS, HERE IZ MAI FAVORITE SCEEN FRUM ANIMAL HOUSE.


K THX BAI,
MANNIE

AUSTRALIA STILL HATES CHILDREN

Hi,

So many of you wrote to tell me that MINERS are the people who dig underground and MINORS are human kittens. That means when I wrote this, I was wrong about the government Down Under taxing children.

I've been doing some more research, I think I understand why I got confused. And I wasn't because because I was dizzy from being put in the washing machine.

I think the plan is that they are going to have all the children work in the mines. Then the Down Under government is going to tax thier salaries. The probably learned this from the government of England.

I'm not sure this is a good idea. According to the CIA, mining is big part of Down Under economy. I think the idea is to keep the money from going to the pockets of the Oligarchs. But I don't think that making kids work is the best way to give them money. And even then, you just taking most of it away from them. Probably better to tax people who make a lot of money.


Thanks,Manny

O HAI,

SO MANY OV YOU ROTE TO TELL ME THAT MINERZ ARE TEH PEEPLE WHO DIG UNDERGROUND AND MINORZ ARE HOOMIN KITTENZ. THAT MEENZ WEN I ROTE THIS, I WUZ WRONG ABOUT TEH GUBBERMENT DOWN UNDER TAXING CHILDZ.

I BEEN DOING SOME MOAR RESEARCH, I THINKZ I UNDERSTANDZ WAI I GOTZ CONFUZED. AND IT WUZNT BECAUZE I WUZ DIZZY FRUM BEING PUT IN TEH WASHING MASHEEN.

I THINKZ TEH PLAN IZ THAT THEY IZ GOING TO HAZ ALL TEH CHILDZ WURKZ IN TEH MINEZ, THEN TEH DOWN UNDER GUBBERMENT IZ GOING TO TAX THIER SALARIEZ. THEY PROBABLEE LEARND THIS FRUM TEH GUBBERMENT OV ENGLAND.

IZ NOT SHURE THIS IZ GUD IDEA. ACCORDING TO TEH CIA, MINING IZ BIG PART OF DOWN UNDER ECONOMEE. I THINKZX TEH IDEA IZ TO KEEP TEH MUNNY FRUM GOING TO TEH POCKETZ OV TEH OLIGARKZ. BUT I DUZNT THINKZ THAT MAKING KIDZ WURK IZ TEH BEST WAY TO GIVE THEMZ MUNNY. AND EBEN THEN, YOU JUST TAKING MOST OV IT AWAY FRUM THEM. PROBABLY BETTER TO TAX PEEPLE WHO MAKEZ LOTZ OV MUNNY.


K THX BAI,
MANNIE

THEY HATE CATS DOWN UNDER TOO

Hi,

In trying to do more research on Down Under, I found this story:http://bit.ly/aFnf6Q.
If you're too lazy, you can watch the story here:


They're so stupid Down Under, they didn't know that

1. cats wash themselves
2. if you do wash a cat, this not how to do it

The stupid human says she didn't know the cat was in the washer. I think she was drunk. The kitty was probably drunk too.

I think that maybe this is what happened:


Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

IN TRYING TO DO MOAR RESEARCH ON DOWN UNDER, I FINDZ THIS STOREE: http://bit.ly/aFnf6Q.
IF YOU TOO LAZEE, YOU CAN WATCH STOREE HERE:


THEYZ SO STOOPID DOWN UNDER THEY DUZNT KNOW THAT

1. KATZ WASH THEMSELVZ
2. IF YOU DUZ WASH KAT, THIS IS NOT HAO TO DO IT

TEH STOOPID HOOMIN SEZ SHE DIDNT KNOW KAT WUZ IN WASHER. I THINKZ SHE WUZ DRUNK. TEH KITTIE WUZ PROBABLEE DRUNK TOO.

I THINKZ THAT MAYBEE THIS IZ WHUT HAPPENZ:



K THX BAI,
MANNIE

THEY HATE CHILDREN DOWN UNDER

WATCH OUT KIDZ, YOUZ NEXT

Hi,

So, I'm a little behind on my reading, but I came across this yesterday: http://bit.ly/atuUxU

It says that Australia (what I called "Down Under" before) is thinking of taxing miners up to 40%. That seems like a lot of money.

I think this is a bad idea. Kids don't make much money. They might make some from a lemonade stand, though Down Under it might be a beer stand.

I don't understand how the Down Under government think they are going to make money from this. Unless they are going to tax the allowance parents give their kids, or the money parents spend for their kids. If that's the case, they are just going to encourage people not to have children. Now, not having kids might make things better in the short term, but I don't think it's going to be good for the long term viability of Down Under. I mean, who's going to drink all the beer?

Now, in the United States, we have a Child Tax Credit . Meaning, we give you money to have kids. I really don't have an opinion on this because

1. I don't have kids
2. I'm neutered, so I'm not really interested in having kids
3. if I had kids, they'd be kittens, and kittens don't count
4. I don't pay taxes.

The economists are always talking about how we're creating more debt that our children will have to pay off. Maybe the Down Underers are just starting now?

Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

SO, IZ A LITTEL BEHINDZ ON MAI REEDING, BUT I CAMEZ ACROSSEZ THIS YESTERDAI: http://bit.ly/atuUxU

IT SEZ THAT AUSTRALIA (WHUT I CALLED "DOWN UNDER" BEFOER) IZ THINIKING OV TAXING MINERS UP TO 40%. THAT SEEMZ LIEK A LOTZ OV MUNNY.

I THINKZ THIS IZ BAD IDEE. KIDZ DUZNT MAKEZ MUCH MUNNY. THEY MIGHT MAKEZ SUM FRUM A LEMONAID STAND, THOUGH DOWN UNDER IT MIGHTZ BE A BE-YAH STAND.

I DUZNT UNDERSTANDZ HAO TEH DOWN UNDER GUBBERMENT THINKZ THEY ARE GOIN TO MAKEZ MUNNY FRUM THIS. UNLESS THEY ARE GOING TO TAX ALLOWANCEZ, OR TEH MUNNY PARENTZ SPEND FOR THIER KIDZ. IF THATZ TEH CASE, THEYZ JUST GOING TO ENCURAGE PEEPLE NOTZ TO HAZ CHILDREN. NAO, NOT HAZ-ING KIDZ MITE MAKEZ THINGZ BETTER IN TEH SHORT TERM, BUT I DUZNT THINKZ IZ GOING TO BE GUD FOR TEH LONG TERM VIABILITEE OV DOWN UNDER. I MEANZ, WHOZ GOING TO DRINKZ ALL TEH BEER?

NAO, IN TEH UNITED STATEZ, WE HAZ A CHILD TAX CREDIT. MEENINGZ WE GIVEZ YOU MUNNY TO HAZ KIDS. I REELY DUZNT HAZ OPINION ON THIS, BECAUZ

1. I DUZNT HAZ KIDZ
2. IZ NUETERD, SO IZ NOT REELY INTERESTED IN HAZ-ING KIDZ
3. IF I HAZ KIDZ, THEYD BE KITTENZ, AND KITTENZ DUZNT COUNT
4. I DUZNT PAI TAXEZ ANYWAIZ.

TEH ECONOMISTZ IZ ALWAIZ TALKING ABOUT HAO WE'Z CREATING MOAR DEBT THAT OUR CHILDRENZ WILL HAZ TO PAI OFF. MAYBE TEH DOWN UNDERERZ ARE JUS STARTING NAO?

K THX BAI,
MANNIE

I THINKZ TEH GUBBERMENT DOWN UNDER DRINKZ THIZ TOO MUCH.

ANIMAL LOVING

HEY BABEE, WHAT YOO GOTZ GOING ON?

Hi,

I found this article about a stupid kangaroo trying to hump ladies in Australia (also known as "Down Under"). You can read the story here: http://bit.ly/d1lT3w.

Stupid kangaroo probably drank too much beer. I understand from the magic picture box that people Down Under like to drinks too much beer all the time.

May be that's what happened when the stoopid doggie kept humping my Daddy.

Stupid doggie. Maybe drunk?

Here are some more pictures of amorous animals:


All these animals getting drunk and getting down. Remember to neuter and spay your pets - they will be much happier.

Thanks,
Manny

O HAI,

I FOUNDZ THIS ARTIKEL ABOUT A STOOPID KANGA-ROO TRYING TO HUMP LAYDEEZ IN AUSTRAILIA (ALSO KNOAN AZ "DOWN UNDER"). YOU CAN REED TEH STOREE HERE: http://bit.ly/d1lT3w.

STOOPID KANGA-ROO PROBABLEEZ DRINKZ TOO MUCH BEER. I UNNDERSTANDZ FRUM TEH MAGIK PIKTUR BOX THAT PEEPLE DOWN UNDER LIKEZ TO DRINKZ TOO MUCH BEER ALL TEH TIME.

MAYBEE THATZ WHUT HAPPENED WEN TEH STOOPID GOGGIE KEPT HUMPING MAI DADDIE.

STOOPID GOGGIE. MAYBEE DRUNK?

HEER ARE SUM MOAR PIKTURZ OV AMOROUS ANIMALZ:


ALL THESE ANIMALZ GETTINGZ DRUNK AND GETTINGZ DOWN. REMEMBERZ TO NEUTER AND SPAY YOUR PETZ - THEY WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER.

K THX BAI,
MANNIE